Little Girls...

I know that having a girl brings so many other things, I’m a girl so I already know what I am in for {trust me I am nervous}. However, I do know that with the trying times comes the joyful times. The UNCONDITIONAL love that you receive from a daughter all of your life; is the most amazing thing. If you treat her well and give her true love she will be your companion. When she goes away to college she will call, when she gets married she will call and when times are good or hard she will call. A bond of a mother and daughter is beautiful. I don’t have to be her friend now – by the GRACE of God I will be a wonderful mother and be just that, her mother. I should be her mom now and a friend when she is older…{much older}.

When I discovered I was pregnant I prayed – for a healthy baby girl. I continue to pray that I can be a strong woman for her, show her how to live a proper life for God, teach her to be a disciple for the Lord, have standards, morals, courage, love for self, beauty, and strength. I pray that I can teach her to know right from wrong and what Love entails. Teach her that the world isn’t always going to be kind and sometimes the people who we think love us don’t know how to show us. Teach her, there will be instances where she will be her own best friend or her own worst enemy. Teach that the world is a rough place but if we love ourselves what other people say has no bearing.. it only bothers us when we don’t love ourselves the way we should. Instill in her that the tone of her skin matters none and that the only people who are “uncomfortable” with anything outside of what they see in the mirror, need a prayer said for them.

So, when I drop to my knees at night, I pray for my legacy to be everything that the LORD would want and for the strength of the Lord to show me the way.

Standards in Society

I read something today that floored me; an interview with Grade “A” chick herself : Michelle “Bombshell” McGee. In this article she states “I think men are made to spread their seed," she says. "Women need to accept that. If you're going to be married to somebody, you need to know that men are not meant to be with one woman. I think you can totally love your spouse and still sleep with other women.” I can’t believe it, so here we are; we have a woman telling us to accept lower standards and just accept it men cheat. I won’t settle.. I refuse to accept that men just cheat nor will I raise my daughter to think that is a norm and something she would have to settle with. I know men who don’t cheat, who have a relationship with GOD and wont forsake that. The world is welcome to have various views but the MAJORITY is built on Christianity {as a country we are BUILT under GOD}. When we wed we make a promise to God that we won’t cheat, that we will HONOR and Cherise our spouse. As women if we just roll over and accept it we are degrading ourselves , our pride and our honor.

Really, at the end of the day cheating comes down to the compromising of our morals and how as a whole we have allowed our standards and morals to deteriorate in our society. Maybe as a society we should look to the BIBLE for our answers and not to interviews and people.. we need to live and read our word. The BIBLE {basic instruction before leaving earth} has the answers… WE need to UPHOLD our standards and UPHOLD our obligation to the Lord… not to “spreading our legs or our seed.”

Can I get an AMEN!

(Exodus 20:14) 14 “You shall not commit adultery.

(Matthew 5:27-28) “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery;’ but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.

(Matthew 19:18) 18 He said to him, “Which ones?” Jesus said, "“‘You shall not murder.’ ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ ‘You shall not steal.’ ‘You shall not offer false testimony.’

(Hebrews 13:4) 4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.

Stand Still...

I have mixed emotions and I’m not sure how to proceed. I am going to pray on it because I don’t know what to do. I mean do I stoop down to the level of others or rise above? I know what everyone would tell me; April you rise above but they aren’t in my position they aren’t feeling what I am. I feel sold out… I feel pissed.. I feel hurt… I feel like someone I spent a good part of my life looking up to is a FAKE..self serving and selfish. How disappointing is that?

So, at the end of the month I have a choice to make… rise above or play on the same level playing field. I guess I really need to ask myself this… “if I don’t rise above, who am I hurting; me, you or my daughter?” If do rise above I then must ask myself “would I end up hurting my daughter more in the long run?” If you aren’t going to do *ish* to be around then why introduce you in the first place? If you are so selfish that your own ego won’t allow YOU to go out of YOUR way to see her why should WE… Why should I put her in that position?? You fall over backwards to see your other but not to see the first girl.. you should be ASHAMED but I know you well enough to know you have it all “justified in your head.” You see though, this isn’t about me or you – it’s about someone who is way more important than us….

Ugh, my thoughts won’t leave my mind, so I ask over and over.. do I rise above or just stand still…

MAMA

It is so cool being a “mama.” Not only has Pea started to crawl all over, but sit up like a big girl.. she is advancing at record rates..My baby actually pulled herself up the other day while she was standing over me. I could hardly believe it. Of course daddy said they have been practicing.. I have been pretty lucky she has been doing her “firsts” with me. Her first yesterday was music to my ear.. it was loud and clear “MAMA”… Anthony tried to play it off that he taught her the word mambo lol and that is what she was saying. It made me laugh… and in some sense wonder if it made him sad and he didn’t want to say anything. I do know he keeps saying dada to her now (well even more). Little does dada know I have been repeating the word “mama” since she was born lol.. Like I said I LOVE being a mom.. Dada and I are enjoying every moment of it…

Angelic

Her touch is so gentle, her eyes so very bright, and her smile lights up a room. She is amazing; when people see her she encourages them to stop, talk and giggle with her. Strangers ask to take pictures of her and oh “how beautiful” she is. She creates a sense of unity without even knowing how; it’s amazing. Touched by God, she is his beautiful masterpiece and made by the pure design of his hand. It breaks my heart that your ego will not allow you to know how lovely and how Angelic she truly is . It breaks my heart that your past hurt; by those out of my control will allow you to refrain from an angel sent here by the Lord almighty. You missed her introduction to the world, her first crawl, her first smile, giggle and will let all the first’s pass you by; until you fade away and just become – a passerby. One of the ones who stop to say hi; and wow she has a beautiful smile.

On the move...

Pea is almost 5.5 months; she is amazing. At 3.5 months she was rolling front to back and back to front. Her Dr. told us at 4 months that her gross motor skills were that of a 6 month old and was amazed at all the things she was already doing. I am a VERY PROUD mom, and typically I can’t run around bragging on how smart, strong, and amazing my baby is, however, now that I blog I can (LOL). If people don’t want to hear about it; they have an option to not follow my blog or read it; this is the one outlet where I can and people won’t think I am just over the top or hating on the true happiness my daughter brings to me. We all know there are haters out there… (even the ones who I had to ax).. {evil laugh}

This week, my little girl is on the move. She just about has the crawling thing down.. I can’t believe it. I thought she would skip the crawl thing all together and get to walking (considering she was trying to stand on my legs and was fully bearing weight down at 5.5 weeks (YES WEEKS)…but nope she is trying to crawl. She is just TO nosey to wait to get the walking thing down she has to explore her world now…

Kenya and Ducati better be on the lookout. She LOVES her kitties but hasn’t mastered the whole idea of “pet nice” yet. I keep trying to show her but she only knows how to grab not lay her hand flat. Ducati walks past her and she reaches out and “pets” him only to have a handful of hair when she is done. Ducati doesn’t seem to mind and just keeps on walking. Kenya on the other hand she stays away from Pea lol…

She has her 6 month wellness check on May 21st. Although the appointments take a while and she has to get shots (that makes me sad) it is always fun to learn how much she has grown and where she is fundamentally.

this angel of mine...

As my little angel sleeps I take a moment to reflect. How wonderful life is and how God has it all planned for us. My daughter is my life; she is everything to us and brings us so much joy. It’s amazing how much attention she gets from people young and old. I told Anthony today that I believe she helps to encourage older white people to talk to us and maybe it helps them to see that we are just a family like everyone else. I feel like my daughter helps to define some type of unity in the world. I pray that whatever her purpose is that I listen to the direction God gives me for her and that I do everything I possibly can to encourage her to be a beautiful disciple for the Lord.